Tuesday, May 05, 2009

My First Yes +

The first art of living course I was fully involved in organizing finished this sunday. Boy what a journey!

Thanks to Mr Vishal Merani I was in Guwahati for a period of two weeks. The course was supposed to begin on 27th April and the initial target for course was 108 and Saleel da was supposed to come and take the course. I reached Mumbai on the 19th of April and first thing I did was to call Pramod bhaiyan (bhaiyan is not a typo it is how Pramod bhaiyan prounces bhaiya so bear with me) to ask how many registrations did we have. We just had 2 registrations that were fully paid. Pramod bhaiyan had done a lot of running around and since exams were going on in IIT no one was helping him out. A strict order followed from Saleel da that Pramod bhaiyan would henceforth do nothing for the course. The whole onus now lay on the next generation volunteers - Ashish, Aditya, Arun, Dhanya, Hiren, Manju, Shivendra, Yashoj and Utsav.

Final Exams, Busy or tired looking volunteers, Lukewarm or acrid reactions from the students and still we all kept our spirits high. Ashish was the cornerstone of the course - he would not give up the dream for anything. Despite running a very hectic schedule his reaction to all my calls would be -"Bhaiya bas mein abhi karta hoon". He brought the most to the course in terms of getting the most registrations (all of who have loved the course-A testimony to his sincerity). I absolutely loved this attitude. Second person, who deserves special mention is Aditya. Ones true competition is ones own self. Aditya routinely would go down and out at the jives he would recieve from his friends about he being involvd with AOL but each time I would make a phone call he would be a rejuvenated person ready to take up the challenge again. His love for the Guru is simply remarkable. Each time I would speak to him his only reply would be - "Yaar mujhe in sab ke muh par muskurahat dekhni hai, chahe kuch bhi ho jaye". As much as I loved this attitude, I hope he really starts fighting harder and relying less on extraneous factors. End of Utsav's exam was nothing short of a celebration for me. He is a freshie and the last time I gave an intro talk in his wing 8 out of 15 ppl registered. With him around magic happens - after all he has been in touch with the Guru since he was in class 3. While all of us were grappling to get intro talks in Mtech wings he and Yashoj would come and arrange intro talks in Btech wings with all final year students around :). Dhanya and Manju were ever ready to arrange a talk despite there super busy schedules.

Sonam's visit on the 25th deserves a special mention. She came, she set every thing right, she conquered and the then she vanished. While she was around we actually opened up so many possibilities and started thinking of putting together a 40person course. I am sure if she were around for another day we would have had atleast a 35 person course.

Hetal di's phone calls were just the dosage we would seek every time things would not go right.

The icing on the cake however was certainly the arrival of Sachin to the scene. He came on the 26th and withing moments of his arrival organized a concert in H-10 (Girls Hostel) Mess. The concert can be best descibed as a dude with a guitar entering Girls Hostel premises (without permissions) and then starting to play to entice them to fall in love with the Guru. He was just the tonic we all needed. I can still hear all the mess workers requesting him to play a song for them. Unfortunately despite an amazing response no one registered but what the hell! It was quite a scene.

When it comes to organizing the course, getting everything from name tags to darries to hall - no one can beat Hiren and Shivendra. They are just infallible with Shivendra's eye for detail and Hirens negotiating skills :)

Now for me - it was an absolute humbling experience. For seven years I have been sitting on the other side wondering why people from Art of Living keep running around creating havoc in other peoples lives. Now I realize why. Hearing "Mere pass time nahin hai terese baat karne ke liye" from 2nd year IIT students was an eye opener. I'm sure Guruji plays a lot of games to check our resolve and to help us dive deeper into Love. :)

I recall Hiren calling me up to tell me that two sure shot registrations had backed out and whether it was worth having the course. By that time I had fallen into such a lovely trance where I realized nothing was in my hands all was just being done by the will of the Guru. My reply to him was simple - Even if we need to do a course for 5 people we will keep working.

For me, and many others who attended the course, felt that the course started, ended and went on with a special energy. Uppi di is the cutest teacher I have come across and I believe that all courses in IITs should be taken by her :) A 20 people group having a session with Bau is just inexplicable, so is everyone dancing in a YES!+ satsang as if it were an advanced course, so is a bunch of participants doing a nukkad natak in middle of Hiranandani to raise awareness to save electricity, so is the 50 odd charts this lot of 20 participants filled in 7 days, so is veterans like Sachin and Pramod Bhaiyan saying that they felt as if they had done their first long kriya when they did the kriya with these guys, so is my dear friend Soni (who is perhaps the only person who has completed the course despite being sent by me :( ) quitting smoking - strange are His ways. First He made us slog day and night without any result and then came out with such surprises.

I pray to Guruji to provide me the strength to carry on working for the Vashi YES!+ without sparing a single moment for the results.

Jai Guru Dev (Hail Knowledge and Masti)

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Vote against Reservation

There are events that badly batter the soul of a country. The terrorist attack on Mumbai was one such moment. However there are passages of time when the nation’s leaders infest into it such diseases that slowly and gradually are bound to bring the nation down to a lifeless carcass. One such disease infested the Indian Nation when Congress’ HRD Minister Arjun Singh made a statement that reservation in educational institutions would be increased to 49.5%. There were protests across all educational institutions, but they died down soon. Unsupported by political parties all of which lacked the spine of standing up against this measure for the fear of losing votes, the protests were literally crushed.

The country goes to polls again and maybe due to its Chalta Hai attitude is choosing to neglect the disease. New populist manifestos with further reservations and affirmative action have been proposed. The most notable amongst these is the Congress manifesto that promises reservations in the private sector, increasing reservations in educational institutions further and instituting reservations for Minorities.

No one, neither the press, nor the Indian middle class, nor any political party seems to pay any heed to this issue. Apart from a couple of articles in the press there have been no efforts to highlight the issue. Lets save the soul of the nation, pledge to go an vote against a government which promises nothing but Reservations. For once a government like this comes to power again, not even God can save the Nation from this disease.

Jai Hind

Realize that this not just another passage of time when we can shrug our shoulders and say Chalta Hai. Once more than 50%, possibly 80% of the spaces in the country are reserved, it will become almost impossible to bring about any change!

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Saturday, December 27, 2008

Meher

It is amazing how when you are happy and in a good mood everything just falls in place automatically. VaheGuru's Meher just makes everything feel perfect. The parameters of the world get set according to your conviniece.

Guruji says that the world around u is just a manifestation of your inner self, when you are in love with nature, nature loves u back. It is so true. Today just felt like perfection. Everything that I tried to do just happened. Guess thats what Meher is!

To end with a couplet from Sri Guru Granth Saheb
Apni Sharan Rakh Prabh Daate , GurPrasad Kine Virle Jaate

Satnam VaheGuru

Sunday, January 14, 2007

There is something about World History

There is something about world history that truly amazes me. I have always been and continue to be intrigued when I read books on that (Just to put it in perspective I am reading Discovery of India by JL Nehru). It is probably the vivid images it produces in the mind - of grandeur of Forts, of chivalry of soldiers, of fear of nature, of stillness of life, of simplicity of masses, of atrocities of some rulers and wisdom of some.

And yet all these images continue to persist in our world too. Its funny how in sometime people will be reading our times as if it was some past age. The mammoth amount of literature that exists today would be re read and quaint conclusions made. The exercise is at some level completely futile for why would one want to know what Adolf Hitler did or how big an idiot Bush was. And yet we still continue to delve into these reconstructions and people like me continue to read them and feel elated.

I suppose there is a side of human beings that is completely futile. The side that loves doing stuff for no reason at all. At some level one is forced to argue - "How can one find joy in futility?" And yet I continue to cling on to it for it gives me experiences that a good amount of rationality could not. I have no easy answers for myself on this and don't want to force the question onto world.

All I wish to say is - The world will go on....

Sunday, November 05, 2006

The Arrogant Me

The inevitable happened. After weeks of irritating and pestering , "Ramakrishna" finally blustered. A dramatized version of what he said -

"You know it is not always about you! Your intelligence, your scores, your norms in life. Other people have a life too. Who are you to call them "dumb" or to "trivialize" their existence. You need to acknowledge that life is a learning process."

My problem with this was not "what he said or the way he said it". The problem was that at some level I already knew what he was saying and my oblivion in the past, meant now there are miles before I start feeling a degree of freedom. It is nautral - "If you are arrogant and unaware of your arrogance you are in bliss. If however you are arrogant and aware of it - Dude you are fucked up!" Now as usual I have a confession to make. Here it goes.

I have been sharing my flat with a co-researcher for the past few months. We have been working on the same project and over my interactions I have formed an opinion that he is not very bright. He is unable to solve cursory problems satisfactorily even after trying for long periods of time. His own dissatisfaction is quite perceivable. However my impression is that he has developed a defense mechanism wherin he refuses to admit his failures. In addition he is extremely careless. He leaves food in the pantry which gets infested by ants, never switches off the light before leaving a room and forgets to flush the toilet : ( I have hence formed a strong opinion that academics is not ideally suited for him. He should take up a job where he can earn a decent salary and live a rather idyllic life which is what he is anyway living. Now the ruminations.

I do realize that I am being bitchy. I cant help it! : ( Better come out with it outrightly than let it seethe in some corner of your heart. I do realize that I am being condescending. I have formed an impression only based on the limited interactions. I do not have enough evidence to coroborate that his life is indeed idyllic. Further even if I for a moment assume that he has all these shortcomings, it is unclear what gives me the right to doubt somebody else's choice. After all each one of us lives with varied degrees of rationality and the heterogeneity makes this world beautiful.

This is however not the worst problem. The worst problem is that over all this period of our interaction, I have derived a fair bit of intellectual satisfaction from looking down upon him. So, in some sense I do not want him to take the corrective measures. I want him around me so that I have somebody who I can look down upon and feel great.

In conclusion is a shabad from Sri Guru Nanav Dev Ji

Naanak baerree sach kee thareeai gur veechaar
O Nanak, the Boat of Truth will ferry you across; contemplate the Guru.

I seriously hope the boat of truth ferries me across.

-Satnam Waheguru

Friday, November 03, 2006

Dinner Table Discussions

It happened again. So often I tend to say something foolish or potentialy offensive on the dinner table and realize it moments later. The usual reason for the occurences is that I have misgivings about the ability of person I am in conversation with or for that matter the coterie he belongs to. Now this feeling has to in some way or the other become apparent. It cannot stay hidden forever and hence in due course it does evince itself. In any case this is what happened today.

I was sitting with three guys who are currently enrolled in the MBA program. I have a serious grouse against most mangement graduates. I feel most of them exhibit pretensions of being intelligent or smart while at some level they themselves know they are not. I donot know where did I inherit this skepticism from. Now this guy on the table says that he has been shot listed in one of the companies. I assumed that since Deutche bank was on campus he had been shortlisted in Deutche.

However I felt this guy was talking way too foolishly and was not the kind of person one would expect to get shortlisted in such a high profile job. I must make it clear here that I dont myself covet a job in an i-bank. However the very idea of a person around me making huge amounts of money fills me jealousy ( I dont know why and I hate the phenomenon:( ) In any case in due course of conversations it turned out that he had been shortlisted for some software startup for the designation of a "Relationship Manager". Now the next genre of stereotypes kicked in. Software guys are really nerdy, donot have any imagination, are incapable of exhibiting emotions and sell their soul to write mundane code. Unfortunately I once was a s/w engineer and still continue to be one : ( By this point in conversation I had amassed enough stereotypal energy and started on a sarcastic note - "So is relationship manager similar to Field application engineer", kind off like treating the manager of a bank like a cashier.

This was too much of an insult to the class of Business Graduates. How could someone trivialize an ISB MBA to such a ridiculous position. So one of the guy's friends got hurt and started rambling on how different the two roles were. I immidiately realized what mistake I had commited. Now instead of admitting my mistake or even keeping quiet I started eulogizing how FAE's are among the most exalted human beings to inhabit planet earth and any body should be proud of being an FAE.

I really wonder at times why I behave with such immaturity . I hope God gives me the strength to accept my stereotypes, not carry them around like shields.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

The Power of Truth

This is my attempt to confess and warn the world of my invidious nature. The inspiration from this comes from a recent incident when I confessed to one of my close friends Ramakrishna that I did not want him to get a better GRE score than mine. As puerile as it may sound it was a big deal for me and my constant habit of making comparisons had forced me to subject him to crass bantering. The confession proved to be wonderful. Ramakrishna took it sportingly and I felt really relieved. I intend this to be a series of articles where I expose my true nature and thoughts to the world.

I have reached a point where the learning curve has becoming essentially flat. This is not the first time that this is happening. It happened once before when I had just entered IIT. Let me chronicle how were things then and how they look very similar even today.

Cracking IIT

Cracking IIT was a big deal for me. In fact is was such a big deal that I have yet to overcome its effects. Part of the reason for this is that I have never been able to realize why it was a big deal. I had spent two years preparing for the exam and here I was in the month of May with the propitious news that I had got a rank of 202 in the exam. You know how it felt, nothing, nothing at all. It is like you spend two years of your life chasing an elusive dream and at the end of it, it turns out to be absolutely nothing. I remember pestering my Mom again and again asking her if she was happy. After a while she got irritated and said that she was happy but did not want to say a thing because that would have made me over confident.

Then I remember how I returned back home from the railway station (I had to travel that morning) and calling up all my close friends and confirming their ranks. It gave me immense pleasure that none of my close friends had a rank even close to mine. The closest was probably Ankush whom I had left behind by a 94. See, I still remember the number. Well that was how that day was and I remember little of the period that ensued after that. The interesting period for me now is probably when I finally entered the gates of IIT.

My First Few Days at IIT

I entered IIT with an attitude that I now regard as a sure shot recipe for failure. I had decided that after a long toil of two years that it no longer made any sense to study. I assumed that everybody around me would adopt the same attitude and the genius that I am, I would attend all the classes and would get exceptional grades while other were groping in darkness. Little did I know.

The first few days were extremely hectic. The seniors would constantly rag me. I did not care, in fact I kind off enjoyed being the object of attention. I was good at running when compared to rest in the batch but not amongst the top notch. I was the second best table tennis player and in class X picked up a fair bit of Basketball due to the notion that playing Basketball increases height (more on the height issue some other time). Now, add to all this the fact that I was better looking and had no beard so I immediately got the title "chikna". Before I move any further I must confess, in my four years at IIT I have been unable to find a person as gullible as I was when I had entered. The attention that I received immediately led me to adopt a condescending attitude towards all my friends. I thought at that time that all the guys around me were a bunch of maggu bookworms and I was superior due to the fact that I participated in all the extra curricular activities. However I could not don this attitude for long.

The freshers period at IIT ends up with a freshers skit. The fact that I had no beard made me an immediate choice for the role of a bandi in the skit. It was very natural that I disagree at first. However, my lack of self respect (or my sporting nature, now I wonder what I should call it) forced me to take the role up after receiving a brief speech from one of the seniors. Two quaint incidents took place during the preparation for the skit.

I was insisting on not missing the practicals and afternoon lectures for the practice of the skit. I don't remember the words that I used to do the same exactly but I recall they had tones of pompous self righteousness. "Sungha" (one of my seniors) got irritated due to my remarks and said - "Dekhte hain tu kaisi GPA laata hai (We'll see what GPA u get!)"At that point of time, I tried to dismiss his remark in my mind thinking that he had no idea of my scholastic ability. However the seed of doubt had been sown. I unsurely thought to myself - "I will show this Sardar what a stud I am."

The other incident was one with Tarun Bhool. Bhool was an immensely talented sports person and an equally blessed actor too. However being new to the hostel I was unaware of Bhool's talents. He was directing the fachha skit and I faintly recall my inability to say a particular dialogue to his satisfaction. This annoyed him and he started shouting at me. Thing is that whenever somebody other than my mother or sister scold or criticize me I turn extremely callous. My immediate response is to find out something in which I am better than him and use that to shield myself from the persons criticisms (whether the criticisms are justified or not). At this point my participation in sports became my shield. I thought to myself that this guy doesn't know what a good sportsman I am. He has no right to criticize me just because he knows a thing or two about dramatics, surely that is nothing when compared to sports. Little did I know that Bhool was amongst the best sportsmen in the institute, someone I have always wanted to emulate but never been able to even come close.

The first fifteen days flew past me because there was too much to be done. I was however during this time extremely regular at least as far as attending the classes are concerned. I recollect little of the next twenty days but remember that I had spent this time in making two friends - Merani and Dasa who turned out to be my best friends at IIT. More on that sometime later.

Right now I must recall the first Minors. The first examination was that of MA-111, introduction to analysis. The problem was that prior to IIT I had no exposure to mathematics of this sort. I had only dealt with algebra and calculus and regarded that to be Maths. After all what was Mathematics without equations? The problem was further aggravated because the course had been hyped up because it had previously been taught by a strict professor (Amitabh Tripathi) who had failed around 30% of the class. It was now taught by a useless professor Rama Mishra. Now I was still in the same mode of "Mein to intelligent hoon, yeh sab in sab ko nahin samajh mein aaega, mein to samajh hi jaonga". The result was that I only attended the classes that too with partial attention. I took no efforts to study the course prior to the exam. The result could have been expected. I failed perilously in the exam.

That was the moment when I took a 360 degree turn in my attitude. This was the first time I started doubting my abilities. I remember standing in the cycle stand after the exam explaining Jappi (one of the guys with whom I had studied the subject) how I had overestimated my abilities. The confession was not very deep and but still brought significant relief.

The Problem I Still Face

The change of attitude as I see now did not persist. Although I did accept that I was not one of the most brilliant chaps around I still could not tolerate being taught by someone. The condescension is still a very noticeable feature of all my academic debates where I don a pedantic robe. The problem is that I have become extremely narrow in my outlook and choose to dismiss all new information that I get. The periods of learning are characterized by an initial period where I put a significant amount of effort to understanding the concept. Once I have understood the problem reasonably well I clog my ears and refuse to listen to any more insights. This makes rational discussions with me impossible. Currently I am passing through a phase where learning has been stalled. I am not able to move in any direction and am unable to realise what to pursue.